Post-CityLights -- Coming Home with New Eyes

So now I’m home from St. Louis.

It was weird pulling back in to Black River Falls with Eric on that first Thursday night. We both looked at each other and just said, “Wow. It doesn’t feel like we’ve been gone 7 weeks.” Except for the corn being taller, everything is pretty much the same. It’s hard to come back when you know you’ve changed, but not much around home has. It feels strange. It felt similar to when I came home from being a foreign exchange student in Japan… my time in Japan just ended up being this nice dream-like memory for the most part. I don’t want St. Louis to be the same way. Looking now, I wanted to share some of the ways I’ve seen myself change. I would appreciate continued prayer as I seek to make sure these don’t fade completely away. I know that they’ve already started to fade in some ways, but I pray that God will etch these truths on my heart so they become part of me.

I’m trying to complete the alliteration, but there are four main lessons I’m taking away from the summer:

Patience, potential, prayer, and (international) people.

Working with twelve year olds and living with 30 other college students, some of whom I didn’t have much in common with, and the logistics and last minute changes and unknowns associated with the summer really grew me in PATIENCE. I’ve always had a hard time being patient, especially with people and especially with my family. I’ve also been super schedule oriented most of my life, but, this summer, our every changing and frequently completely unknown schedule and agenda helped break me of that. I learned how to keep my cool when people ignore you or don’t listen or even instigate dissonance. I’ve been working to apply that back at home with my family, especially working for my dad, this August.

Through my interactions with my class, God began to give me his eyes for POTENTIAL. The very first day of the project we had a devotional guide through Isaiah 61 and 62.

Isaiah 61:1-4

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion –

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

The will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated;

They will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

God saw the potential of the poor and the broken city. He didn’t see the poor as a liability or a hopeless cause, but he said THEY would be oaks of righteousness; THEY will rebuild these cities. God began to give me his eyes for potential this summer. Working with the kids over time, I began to see past the behavioral problems, beyond the disrespect, behind the underlying factors of culture and broken homes, and God blessed me with a glimpse of who they were created to be. The goal setting activity from week three of teaching (week 5 overall) and the end of the summer wrap up from the last week really helped me see that. Each kid, even the really difficult ones, had their shining moments where you could see their desire to be some one, to do something, to be more than they are. I continue to pray they would continue to find a lot of that in their identities in Christ, but I also pray they would see themselves as having the potential to do whatever God wants them to do. I also trust God will put more people in their life to continue to tell them that, and I pray that those voices would be louder than that of the culture’s, sometimes their parent’s or sometimes their teachers, and even the church’s sometimes – those voices that so often tell them they can’t, that say their stuck in the same cycle. That peak into the potential of these kids (who would have been so easy for me to write off as drug dealers or vandals-in-the-making in the past) changed my perspective on other “hopeless” causes, like the inner city or the homeless or even specific people in my life. It has given new depth to my skills as a visionary. I’m stoked to apply this to my chapter of InterVarsity, my campus, and my city.

God also used the summer to remind me of the power of PRAYER and my desperate need to grow in it. God answered prayers over and over again – from providing for my funding before I even came, to the best day we had for class behavior was one that I prayed during my devotional for each student by name and for our class time together, to little things like a quick recovery from being sick, to restored relationships like that one with my friend from home who I hadn’t talked with for ages (I’d been praying for reconciliation with her for 9 months). He blessed me with people on my team and in my small group that were extremely gifted in and passionate about prayer. They were a blessing to my summer. It’s been hard for me to make time for prayer since being back, so pray that I DO THAT! :)

The last big thing didn’t really come up until the last week in St. Louis. God used an article we read to remind me of my love for INTERNATIONAL PEOPLE. St. Louis has a large refugee population, and though my primary place of serving this summer involved African Americans, God did give me a few opportunities to interact with internationals. We got to go to church with a lot of the refugees. The three kids that Eric and I drove home after school each day were Congolese, the older two being born there. I got to pretend to translate a little for my friend, Wanda, and a friend that she met in the refugee village near Etzel. Nelly is a Congolese refugee with kids, while her husband is still in the Congo. I hung out with her and Wanda on two different occasions and used a little of my VERY rusty French. The international dinners each week were always a highlight, as well as being blessed by the members of my team who are not American born. I love other cultures, other languages, and learning and serving; God reminded me of those desires and gifts in me, and I’m convinced that I really need to do more with international people in order to steward those passions, gifts, and life experiences well for the Kingdom. I’m not sure of what this looks like long-term, whether it’s working with internationals while they are here (refugees, international students, immigrants…) or whether it means a short or long time in their context. I know in the immediate future it means more intentional interactions with international students on my campus in Madison. Waiting on God for more details than that. :)

A couple of stories from the summer I forgot to include elsewhere.

God continued to remind us of how much we’re needed and how much He is needed in St. Louis. On Hodiamont Avenue, only a few blocks from where we stayed with host families, there were four or five murders while we were there. This is the neighborhood that many of the refugees come to live, the apartments that Nelly and her kids live in. Some of the men from our team even went down there one night to be “security” for the high school teams that went down there to serve the kids of the neighborhood. It was a scary situation, but it was also crazy how quickly the shock wore off. I understand why many people who live there long term barely blink an eye any more. One of the teenage boys involved in the Harambee summer work and discipleship program through New City was killed the last weekend we were in St. Louis. They announced it at church on Sunday, and said it was hard, but they weren’t sure how the other kids in the program would react on Monday when they told them because this kid was most likely not the first person they knew to have been shot. Crazy huh? Praise God for his redeeming work in Etzel Avenue, and we pray the same for the rest of the city and beyond. It was also sweet to see God’s protection during our time there.

We also got to have a fun girls’ night with the girls in the summer tutoring program who were in 4-6^th grades. They stayed after school one night for an evening of fun, massages, painting, food, and some honest discussions. We let them submit questions into an anonymous question box, and there were some good questions in there. We talked about self esteem and true beauty, even had a beautiful woman from the church come in to talk with them about it.

This summer was an AMAZING experience, through which God taught me more than I could explain even if I wrote a 100 page blog entry. These are some of the stories, some of the lessons. I’m so thankful for your support of this part of my journey. I’m stoked to keep walking into what God has for me. Through the summer, I became even more at peace with what He’s calling me to after college, which is being a staff worker with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. I'm 95+% sure that’s what I’ll be doing once I graduate in December 2011. The scary part now is waiting and starting to think about fundraising my salary… multiple thousands of dollars a year. It’s intimidating, but the fundraising process for this summer was a huge encouragement for me. Thanks for your prayer, your encouragement, and for reading this saga of St. Louis. I’m in the process of writing a song about my summer. Once it’s done, I’ll post it for all of you. I’m also looking in to getting a few pictures from the summer posted, as well as that video of my class performing the Everything skit.

Be blessed!

Ephesians 3:16-21

16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Week Seven -- Laughter and Tears

Our last 10 days in St. Louis… they flew by! (This post and the next one will be some of the most important of the summer. :) )

Summary:
The end of the summer was filled with laughs and tears. The last week of school was great. We got to see that our students really had listened to us and really had learned from us this summer. They made us proud at Parent’s day with their performance. We had a great last 10 days with the team as well, wrapping up, but still growing ever closer.

Sunday (July 11), we went to church at Friendly Temple, an African American mega church in St. Louis. They’ve just built a new sanctuary, which was beautiful! One thing that has definitely struck me during my interactions with African American brothers and sisters this summer is their constant thankfulness. They thank God each and every day for each and every day, not taking things for granted. The worship at church was vibrant and alive and long. Sweet. Then we went back for a meal that Gerry had made for us including mashed potatoes!!!!!!!! My first of the summer. I don’t think they were homemade… didn’t taste exactly like it, but it was still wonderful. Our weekly Sunday night international dinner was Ethiopian and Eritrean that night. That was some goooooooood food.
Our last week of school was a little wild and crazy with the kids, but it was good. We practiced our skit, did some activities to talk about the Civil War and then briefly about the Reconstruction, had them decorate journals for themselves in which Laura and I wrote them each a letter and pasted some of their projects from the summer in. We talked about how sin has messed up the world that God created, and I presented the gospel to them one day. I should have prepared a better prayer for the end, but I trust the Lord still used it. One kid commented on how much I said “um.” Ha, oh well.
It was a bittersweet end to the summer. I loved each and every one of the kids in our class so much. Laura and I were so thankful that God brought Thompson and Cassius back unexpectedly for the last week of camp. They didn’t like the other camp they were at. I was SO proud of them on Wednesday during Parent’s day when they performed the Lifehouse skit. It wasn’t perfect, but it moved everyone in the auditorium. Many of the adults were crying, including Ms. Leia, our director. I was shaking so badly I could barely drum afterwards. I’ll hopefully post a link to the video once Laura gets it up online. At the end of the auditorium time, three of the boys from our class went up to the microphones, and Laura and I kind of looked at each other like, “Oh no… what are they doing up there…” Ms. Leia let them at the mics, and each of them thanked Laura and I for being their teachers this summer and shared some specifics. I almost started crying. It wasn’t until the last few days that we could see that they really had been listening to us all summer; they had really come to care about us, at least a fraction of how we cared for them. Also in the journals that we had them make, we had them write a letter to themselves or to God talking about their summer and how they were feeling about the next year. Like the goal setting exercise a couple weeks ago, it just gave me so much hope reading their letters. Here is one of the most touching for Laura and I (typed up exactly as he wrote it):

“Dear me,
I had a great time this summer. Especially at the firm foundation camp. I had 2 of the most excellent teachers (counselors). They tought us very well. So because of their great teaching I have goals for the fall. I’m going to be more respectful. I also want to is to have a better relationship with god. I have no fears or worries for next year. I just wish I could have a better bond with my mother. And I just pray that I don’t get caught up in devilish ways. Even though Im good at saying no when it comes to those things. Thank god for a great summer.”

Wednesday was the last day of class, but we got to spend the day at the zoo and the science center with our kids on Thursday. It was really hot that day, but it was nice to have a day just to hang out and do life with the kids. Actually, one cool thing about the summer is that the kids in my class would frequently come to eat dinner with us in the evenings and then play basketball at the gym. They live around they neighborhood, so it was great to see them outside of the classroom setting.
The last few days of school were encouraging for me as we saw a glimpse of what God did through us this summer. I’ve been learning to be content with whatever role in God’s plan he has me playing. Most of these kids have been poured in to for years now, and I was only there for five weeks of it. I know God will use those five weeks, but it’s also encouraging to look at the bigger picture, knowing that God had placed people before me to love on St. Louis, and he’s definitely got people lined up for the future as well.
Thursday night we had our coffeehouse, kind of like a talent show. And what a talented team we have. There were poems, songs (original and covered), skits, etc. It was a super fun night of enjoying some of our last time together. The women also presented our thank you to the men for the dinner they made us. It was a song and dance routine to “I’ll Be There” by the Jackson 5. Fun times. We gave each guy a part of the big mural that we had painted during our small group time the night after Ladies’ Night as well.
Friday through Tuesday was just more processing time and hanging out as a team time. We had a retreat of silence at City Park, then to the History museum and the art museum again. The Mourner’s exhibit was opening at the art museum, so it was a free exhibit that day. They had the statues of the 40 mourners from John the Fearless, Duke of Burgundy, as well as a modern video art piece. Then we went to the Latino part of St. Louis for dinner. Delicious cow tongue quesidilla is what I had. :)
Saturday we had another retreat of silence for processing at the St. Louis Botanical Gardens. Then we went out to Grant’s Farm, the Anheuiser-Busch estate. They had a lot of ridiculous animals there, including a trained animal show.
Sunday was our last time of worship at New City Fellowship. We got to say goodbye to people, and then we had our last international dinner of West African food made by two of our team members (from Ghana and Nigeria). We watched a movie called Saving Grace (the 1986 one). It was a fun movie, but still one with a lot of lessons that we could take out of it, like how to en. Monday we took a day trip to Illinois. We went to Brussels, a cute little town in rural Illinois. We had a delicious multi course lunch of homemade food at a hotel/restaurant there, called the Wittmond Hotel restaurant. We had a big cookout that night at home as well. We spent Monday night and Tuesday morning processing the summer together, sharing what we loved, what we’ll miss, etc. I wish we could have had more processing time together, but what we had was fun.
This time and these people have touched my heart deeply. I look forward to sharing more of my overall take away lessons soon, now that I’m caught up with everything that I did.
One last thing for this post.
I wanted to let you know that at the end of the summer our team was short on our budget. We cut things here and there, but still ended up with quite a deficit. After reading a bit about what God has done this summer in St. Louis, would you consider continuing to support that work that He continued through my teammates and me? My team was a HUGE blessing to me and to the community we worked with. I have friends around the country and around the world. I so appreciated the support from you all through the summer, through financial support, thoughts, and especially prayers. If you feel led to support our summer, you can send checks written to InterVarsity to me at PO Box 145, Birchwood, WI, 54817. No pressure, it’s just something related to my time in St. Louis that’s been on my mind that I wanted to share.

I’ll be posting my final thoughts and lessons from the summer sometime this week I hope. :) Thank you again SO much for your support and for being a part of this life changing summer.