Week 6 -- Sharing Stories

Summary:

Week six in St. Louis, week four of teaching, was shortened because of the Fourth. We spent a lot of time in class talking about Jesus, while briefly touching on the Underground Railroad. Our tutors for the week were from Colorado, and one day during class they shared their stories of how Jesus has transformed their life. The men on our team made us a BEAUTIFUL dinner to love and serve us one night, and the women spent the next night bonding and making a beautiful mural of which all of the guys, and eventually all of the girls, got a piece.

Because of the holiday on Monday after Fourth of July, we only had three days of class that week. Our class was down to 7 students, but we had a fun week with them. I had shared my testimony with them the week before during devotionals as I mentioned, and so quite a bit of our time was spent preparing that. Most of our time that week was spent on devotionals and teaching about Jesus instead of African American history. We did briefly talk about the Underground Railroad some more. They made quilt squares like the ones used for codes that were hung outside houses along the Underground Railroad line.

I realized that I never really mentioned the tutors we have working with us. Living in a different part of the same building each week are teams of high schoolers who come to St. Louis for a week-long missions trip. In the mornings, they work in our classrooms as tutors and get to work closely with one or two students and get to know them. In the afternoons they go out in to the community to do different work projects. We had a group of really great tutors from Colorado with us that week -- two high school girls and two of their college aged male leaders. They really poured a lot into the week with our students, especially with prayer. I really really enjoyed interacting with the high school girls and hearing their stories. One of the girls who was going to be a sophomore in high school really appreciated interacting with Laura and I throughout the week and so did we! God really grew my heart for the difficult, but ever so important, middle school to high school aged kids. Little kids are still cute and super fun and loving, but I appreciate being able to have real conversations with the older kids.

One day we spent the whole class time hearing the testimonies of our four tutors. I think it was a really great day for the kids. They got a little antsy by the end of listening, but the tutors did a wonderful job. We had a whole spectrum of stories, involving everything from parental abuse to cutting to partying to just living life for sports to seeking affirmation from men to self-image, stories of people that grew up in the church, even with pastors in the family, and stories of someone who grew up Jewish and found Christ later in life. These were people who had great stories of the power of God in their lives and they were people that our students had become friends with. Because of the spectrum of real stories we heard as well, I think it also made the Lifehouse skit a little more real to them. Even for me though, it was an awesome day, because I LOVE hearing testimonies. It reminds me of all the different ways that God can work, and it reminds me of his love and his power.

I realized I haven’t talked much about my time teaching art this summer. I’m always tired by the afternoons, and never had much enthusiasm or energy for art. It was fun to get to work with the younger kids that I didn’t know as well. They are super energetic. We made different projects like little African-looking hand drums, 3-D African animals, some African style stamp painting called Adinkra, mancala boards, African masks, etc. Some of my favorite times were when this beautiful group of girls, about age 6-7, would come in to class or in the middle of class just start singing excitedly one of the worships songs from the morning worship. It touched as part of the worship team to know they were enjoying the songs and connecting with them, but even just as a teacher, it was encouraging to see these beautiful daughters of God singing his praises as they’re painting and coloring.

Two of my favorite nights of the summer came during this week as well. Tuesday night, the guys on our team along with the two male staff workers put together a beautiful night for the women, to serve and love us as their sisters. We didn’t know what was happening. We were just instructed to show up dressed nicely at 6pm on Tuesday night. They cooked dinner for us (yakisoba and fruit), as well as transforming the chapel area in to “Café Shalom.” They escorted us in one by one into a candlelit room. Then they served us at our tables while to of the men played beautiful music in the background. They had cake for us as well. They did a wonderful job. The night really touched a lot of my sisters. I heard many comments like, “I’ve never felt that special before,” or at least “I haven’t felt that special in a long time.” It was a huge huge blessing for the men to do that for us. Our interactions with the 11 men that were around this summer were awesome. With the no dating rule at City Lights, we could encourage and affirm one another without worrying that others would read into it. For many of the girls, the quality men of God that we got to live alongside this summer were a catalyst for healing in their attitudes towards and relationships with men. The bar was raised for what a man of God, especially one who is pursuing us, should be. I am blessed enough to have a wonderful man in my life right now, and that night made me appreciate all he does for me even more.

Wednesday night is our small group night, so all of the ladies got together for a joint night to do something to thank the men for their beautiful night for us. We took a 20 foot long piece of butcher paper and a bunch of paint. We were instructed to paint anything, didn’t matter what, but also to move around the mural. It wasn’t that one area was claimed or anything and you couldn’t ruin anyone else’s work. By the end we had a beautiful mural, which represented a really fun night of bonding as well as our unity as the women of the summer team. Once it dried, we cut out 8 by 10 pieces of the mural and put them in frames to present to each of the men. They each had an important part in our summer and the mural wouldn’t have been complete without each piece in it. After making cards for each man and painting, we sat down and had some heart-to-heart “real talk,” which is some of my favorite. It was an awesome night of bonding with my sisters and thanking our brothers.

Thursday night was another big night. We had a speaker on the racial reconciliation. She talked about the need for Shalom in the world. Shalom is more than just “peace,” but it’s the way things ought to be. We talked about how Jesus entered in to the brokenness of the world. The world’s solution for reconciliation is “don’t be racist,” but Jesus’ is more active: repent and love your neighbor. We looked at the story of the Good Samaritan.

Her end applications, to contrast the secular solutions, were:

Don’t be “color blind;” SEE people.

It’s more than “celebrating diversity;” go deeper.

Don’t just “get along;” sacrificially love.

Then we had a time of worship, which turned in to a time of confession to the whole team. It was a really hard night, but it brought a lot of healing for people (including myself) as they shared their struggles and their stories, the ways they’ve sinned and been sinned against.

Friday we spent our retreat of silence at a cemetery, which obviously led to some thoughts and later discussions about how short life is. Gerry asked us to write what we would want our epitaph to read, what we would want to be remembered for. I was thinking something along the lines of “Faithful servant of the Lord.” We went to the St. Louis black history wax museum. It focused on people who have St. Louis as part of their history. The first half of the museum especially was cool, because it was the same stuff we’ve been teaching in our classes all summer. Then we had White Castle for dinner. It was my first White Castle, and hopefully my last. We went to The Muny (the municipal theater) to see the musical, The Titanic. It was ok… most people didn’t like it. Our last free Saturday I spent most of the day helping Eric and Jake in the woodshop as they worked to get kids caught up on their projects, so their bookshelves would be ready to take home by the end of the program.

God is so faithful. I’m looking forward to catching you up completely in the next few days. We got back to Wisconsin last night. I sunburned one arm as it hung out the window, and we drove through some nasty storms and tornado warnings in southern Wisconsin, but we made it back to Black River Falls last night.

Fourth of July weekend!

Here’s a brief blog on my long Fourth of July weekend, Friday through Monday.

Summary:

Friday we spent the morning in a junkyard reflecting and spending time with God, then headed to the homeless park to hang out with Jesus in a different way. Saturday, I spent with my old host family from Etzel and the girls that I lived with there. We celebrated the Fourth with a barbeque and fireworks at the Arch. God’s been continuing to give me opportunities to put names and faces with the demographics we hear about. He’s also changing my perspective on those that society has told me to avoid, like the homeless, or even the inner city children that I teach.

Friday was a very impacting day. We spent the morning doing a retreat of silence in a junkyard. They sent us there to put us in an environment that reminds us how things of this world are fleeting and temporary, even if many people idolize them. I was thinking a lot about sin and dealing with my sin. Then I reflected a bit on the junkyard, as people were walking by me sitting in a car, looking for the car/parts they needed. I kind of stole the beginning of this train of thought from my lovely friend, Emily, who was at CityLights last summer. Here’s what I wrote:

People come here to take the few good parts left that they need out of these old cars. How much is that like our society, and how different is that from God? We see broken “worthless” people and come in to the junkyard to take what remains of them, use them for ourselves—whether its using a woman for sex, or exploiting a refugee who can’t speak English, or taking advantage of an elderly widow. We see the brokenness and are only there long enough to get what we can out of them. But God sees these broken down messes, and instead of seeing what He can take form them, He sees what parts are needed to make the car function again, and He fills them up, noticing what we do have to offer that He can use for His glory, even if it’s not much.

I also got out of the car and my tan capris were stained from the car seat. It was an interesting illustration of what it can cost to go in to the junkyard. That can happen when you spend time with those people that we’ve said are unwanted as well. It might make your stuff or your life a little messy. But I walked around with dirty pants all day, and it was fine.

Then we headed to a park in downtown St. Louis where a lot of homeless people congregate. We brought tons of extra lunches and got to sit in the park all afternoon eating and hanging out. It’s been times like that this summer where we get to meet real people and put faces and names and stories with demographics. It was a huge blessing to have fun with them for the afternoon.

While we were there, the police kicked out a few guys, who had all of their stuff piled by one of the benches. It was understandable, but frustrating. We took one of them to try to find a place in one of the tent cities in St. Louis. Those places are crazy, real communities, even with a “mayor”. The men go out and work, and the women stay around and take care of the “city,” at least at one of the two big ones here. It’s hard because the city just passed an ordinance or something kicking all of the homeless out of the park, and most of the downtown area. It’s difficult though because all of the services (like shelters) for the homeless are in the downtown area, but they can’t stay anywhere around there during the day now. We had three friends we met there come to hang out with us where we stay one night, and then again they came for church and lunch with us. They were surprisingly not bitter about being kicked out of the park. They understand why people don’t want some of the homeless shooting up in a park where their kids might play. When we were there, we did a bit of trash pick up and picked up a syringe and needle from… something? These people are valuable to our God, and I’m trying to figure out how to value them as He does. One of Gerry’s granddaughters was always heartbroken when passing homeless asking for money while they were in their car, so she came up with an idea that her mom helped implement called blessing bags. Filling a small bag with food items (bottled water, canned soup, crackers and snacks) that you can keep in your car to hand out when you pass someone by. Just thinking about how when we feed (or don’t) the least of our neighbors, we’re feeding Jesus (or ignoring him)…

We often have a double standard and assume the worst of people. The homeless obviously made some bad life decisions that got them where they are, and it’s their fault. If they really tried they could get themselves out of this. That’s true in some cases but definitely not all. We don’t want to give money to someone in need, because we assume they will go and use it on drugs or alcohol, but we give money to businessmen without questioning what they will use it for, and often it would be the same things.

We spent the night at City Museum, which is basically a giant playground for adults. Crazy fun time. Definitely tired by the end of it. And Eric lost his phone somewhere crawling around outside at some point.

Saturday, I spent most of my free day with Kim, Maggie, and Dionna, the girls I lived with on Etzel. Eric and I had a shortened morning in Forest Park, and then the girls and I went back to the Jackson’s house to cook them breakfast again. I used my mom’s waffle recipe for them. We had an awesome morning of hanging out with them again and actually hearing their testimonies, which we had never heard in a week of living with them. We ended our time with them by going to look at the house that they are currently restoring to move in to in the fall. Then the girls and I went out to Sonic and to Maggie’s house (she’s from St. Louis) for a chill afternoon of hanging out at having girl talk. I spent the night at Forest Park with a group, chilling and playing in one of the fountains. I was super tired though.

Sunday, the Fourth, we went to church, and then headed to my friend, Jake’s house where his parents hosted a barbeque for us on the Fourth. It was a delicious meal, and a nice time of hanging out. We then went downtown and bummed around the Arch, watched the airshow, and then watched the fireworks there. It was a nice show. It was a nice once-in-a-lifetime Fourth of July, but I did miss my normal day on the lake in the Wisconsin summer. On the way home from the Arch, I started feeling sick (sore throat and swollen lymph nodes), and I slept from midnight until 6pm. I got up for dinner and brief time of hanging out, went back to bed at 10pm, and woke up at 8:45am. By Tuesday night I was feeling pretty good again, but it definitely knocked me out for the most part of a couple days. Luckily, it fell on July 5^th, which we had as a completely free day.

I’m now only a week and a half behind, but I hope you can get an idea of what I’ve been up to and some of the things God’s been teaching me.

SO SO grateful for all of you in my life and for your support this summer.

Peace.

Prayer requests

We're down to one week left of CityLights! Craziness.

Prayer for:

-- Trying to wrap up this crazy summer. What else do I need to get out of this crazy summer? How do I go home and live it out in a totally different context?

-- Wrapping up with our students. What else does God want us to tell them this summer? We have Tuesday class, Wednesday parents' day, and Thursday field trip.

-- Endurance for a last busy week of processing

-- Anything else the Spirit leads you to!

Thank you thank you!

Week Five -- Potential

Behind again. My bad.

Week three of teaching!

Summary:

It was an awesome week with our kids. They were having an on week. They worked on biographies of abolitionists, and we were so proud of them! Thursday they got a little nuts again, but they are wonderful. Sunday we talked about refugees, with the combination of going to a church with a lot of refugees and then watching movies about refugees. I’ve been learning more about how to live out being a servant in a healthy way. Another blog coming soon about our Friday, which was really sweet as well.

Description:

Our week with the students was awesome. It was the last week for two of our students, including one of our best students. We did biography projects of abolitionists, and our students made us so proud with what they put together in 3 days of work time, only a couple hours total—start to finish with research and making a poster. We were having fun together and respecting one another for the most part. We had them asking more of their big questions about God, which we still need to finish answering. Our tutors were from Kansas and local students.

I was able to share my testimony with them on Tuesday during devotionals, which was super great. I used the Lifehouse Everything skit to share my testimony with them, because it is a big part of my testimony and basically is my testimony in a lot of ways. Some students had seen it before, but they enjoyed it. They asked if we could do it for the whole tutoring program some time. We’re performing it at parents’ day, which is the last Wednesday (this week now).

Laura shared her testimony on Thursday (their rowdy day), which got frustrating by the end. She had them do an activity that was really powerful and life-changing for her. They wrote two personal goals and one goal for their community. Then they also wrote their fears on the back. Then they ripped them up to remind themselves that there shouldn’t be anything holding them back, and their fears don’t have to prevent them from reaching their goals. Laura and I were both basically crying by the end of class. Some of the goals that were shared:

“I want to go to college.”

“I want to get a degree.”

“I want to play NFL football.”

“I want to give my parents what they need and want.”

“I want to get rid of the bumps on my face.”

“I want to be a lawyer.” (and same kid) “I want to be a good father.”

“I want to go to Harvard or Yale to be an anthropologist.”

These kids here have so much potential and just need some opportunities and affirmation. It really has been a great time of getting to know these kids, being able to hear more of their stories, more of their dreams. To be a part of those stories and a part of them reaching those dreams is such a huge blessing.

Sunday was intense for me. We went to New City Fellowship at South City, a part of the city where there are a lot of immigrants and refugees, and so they church there is also full of refugees and immigrants. Our movies session on Sunday night, we watched clips from movies about refugees which made a very stark picture, making everything more real. At church in the morning, it was so cool worshipping with all these different people, from different place, in different languages. I was just smiling, thinking about how cool the experienced was. Then we paired it with these intense scenes from movies about what the people I was worshipping with had actually experienced. It was crazy powerful, crazy convicting. I just still need to figure out what my role is in international justice for these civil wars and oppressed peoples. If you have any ideas, let me know. :) I’ve gotten a few. I’ll share them later. Just like my “forgiven much, love much” from last week, Sunday made me think about “given much, give much.”

God has also grown my servant’s heart this summer. People have really been affirming my servant’s heart, which has really helped it grow this summer, but now I’ve realized I’m struggling with the Mary/Martha mentality (Luke 10:38-42). I’m working to figure out when I should serve and when I should just sit and be with people.

We had Sharie Chappeau come to our small group and share some of her heart and her story with us. She just always really inspires me to be more a woman of prayer and more led by the Spirit.

Week Four -- Patience...

Sorry for the delayed updates. Last weekend we had a technology fast, so we didn’t use our phones or computers for the whole weekend, and I didn’t get a chance to write an update any other time.

I’ve gotten some comments that my blogs are quite lengthy…which I realize. There are multiple purposes for that. For one, it’s partially for me because I’m not writing down everything I’m doing all the time, so this is a record and reminder for me of what I’m doing and feeling week by week. Also, I figure if you get tired of reading, you can stop. :) Some people I know have also wanted more details.

But I do realize it’s lengthy so I’m going to try to do a brief summary at the beginning of each blog, with the expanded version to follow. (Not that I’m upset at all! Seriously.) I think they will also be getting shorter, because we’re in our groove now. :)

Summary:

Our second week of teaching presented new challenges. The kids showed more of their true colors. They were rambunctious, disrespectful, and hard to love. Laura and I tried to figure out how to be an authoritative figure and to still show them the love of Christ. By the end of the week, God was changing my heart and my attitude, showing me how he would interact with my students. Even though they were harder to love, by God’s grace, he grew me in love for them so so so much. We also had another week together as a team getting to learn to love one another through annoyances as well. We talked about loving the immigrant and the alien in our country during our team movie night. For our team day on Friday, we went to Concordia Seminary for our retreat of silence, then to the St. Louis Zoo. Then we rented paddleboats in Forest Park and then went to a musical, “The Me Nobody Knows.”

My lessons from the week were definitely about relying on God. He was showing me how to love unruly students and how to keep encouraging them. We talked a LOT about respect with the kids last week, and you could definitely see God working on some of the kids’ attitudes.

Details:

The second week at school we had a sports camp for the kids. Four college-aged students came in with an organization called Sports Crusaders. They had our class for two hours of sports camp in the morning, and our students still had to have wood shop in the afternoon, so we only had 45 minutes of class with our students each day. It was also one of the hottest weeks we’ve had all summer, so that was a little rough as well. Most of the time we had the kids in class we were talking with them about respect – respecting us, their peers, and other authority figures. There were many incidents in the classroom and out. One of the boys in my class made fun of another girl’s skin. She has vitiligo, which means she has some of her skin that is discolored. They were also not listening hardly at all during class, and rarely during devotionals with the Sports Crusaders, and even talking back sometimes. But we saw a lot of good discussions and a few attitude changes through the week; praise God! We did manage to squeeze in a few lessons on slavery and what life was like for the slaves as well.

Because of these trying classes, I was praying a lot for our class and how to love the kids and not act out of frustration and impatience. And oh how God delivered. He gave me a lot of patience that was not of myself, and a lot of wisdom in how to keep dealing with the kids.

We also talked with them one day during devotionals about “Rocks of Faith” as we called them, based on the sermon we heard here on the first week from Joshua 4. One man from each of the twelve tribes was instructed to find a stone, which they placed as a memorial reminder once the whole nation had crossed the Jordan River. The rocks were meant to be a memorial and reminder for the people of God’s faithfulness. We’ve started a poster on our wall so our students can write down ways they’ve seen God’s faithfulness, recently or in the past, so they can remember when they’re having trouble. It’s fun to hear their stories. Some of them are kind of ridiculous, but they’re great.

The musical we saw on Friday night was really powerful for me. The musical is based on writings from kids from the inner city of New York. It resonated strongly with me after a week of struggling to love my students. It was a good reminder of what kind of stuff surrounds these students every day – what attitudes and lies they encounter from so many different angles.

My free day entailed another morning at the park with Eric, and a night out at a restaurant with a dude playing blues on his guitar with some of the members of our team. It was great.

I had “Forgiven much, love much” written on my arm all week to remind myself in those moments that it’s hard to love, how much God loves me and how much he’s forgiven me. It is only my selfishness preventing me from loving more fully. And so I’m trying to remind myself of how much I’ve been forgiven, and the love for God and for others that should pour out in response to that. It’s really become a huge motto for me lately.

That was my second week of classes!

I’ll hopefully be getting back up to current soon…